‘Spot on’: Pines woman asks ChatGPT to ‘roast’ the city. Here’s what was said
Reliable, beige and weirdly expensive.
If you’re thinking of a midsize economy car, ChatGPT says you’re not too far off — it’s Pembroke Pines, the “Toyota Camry of South Florida cities.”
The southwest Broward city earned itself a lighthearted tease from the AI chatbot and locals in the “We Love Pembroke Pines” Facebook group when contributor Jamie Sisley posted the response she received after prompting ChatGPT to “roast Pembroke Pines” on Saturday, May 16.
The results, which poked fun at everything from Pines’ retiree demographic to its nonexistent nightlife, were hilariously true, according to residents who left hundreds of likes and dozens of comments under the post.
“Pembroke Pines is what happens when a suburb achieves peak HOA consciousness,” the chatbot kicked off its response.
At every turn you’ll find chain restaurants, gated communities and “at least 14 different Publixes within a 3-mile radius,” wrote ChatGPT, leading it to conclude that those drawn to the city have given “up on nightlife entirely.”
Neighborhoods with names such as “Silver Lakes,” “Chapel Trail” and “Grand Palms,” evoke pictures of golf cart-riding retirees and hunting down a good time means “driving to Miami and regretting it immediately,” it added.
Pines’ traffic infrastructure also saw no criticism spared from the chatbot, which summed up driving in the city as “brake lights on Pines Boulevard” and “every single person in Broward County is trying to make a left turn at the exact same intersection.”
The chatbot’s hottest take? That its residents aren’t born there but “slowly drift” to the southwest Broward city after settling down with a spouse, having kids and financing an SUV.
But just as ChatGPT ribbed Pembroke Pines, it made sure to give credit where credit was due.
On the chatbot’s list of praises for Pembroke Pines:
- Decent schools
- Relatively safe neighborhoods
- Every possible errand within 8 minutes
- Enough parking to host the Super Bowl at any shopping plaza.
Locals swarmed the comment section to agree and add their own takes on the city.
“Can this BE any truer?” wrote Denise Sepulveda-Maciąg.
“Don’t know whether to laugh or cry!” posted Loida Hernandez Cooke.
“Hit the nail on the head but will always love Pembroke Pines,” added Dee Joyce.
Leslye Matta, a contributor whose profile says she lives in Tallahassee, even gave the prompt another go.
What she got back: “Pembroke Pines feels like someone asked: ‘What if we made suburbia… but infinite?’”
Those born-and-bred in Pembroke Pines also came out of the woodwork, proving they do exist despite the post’s otherwise spot-on roast.
“The people actually born in Pembroke Pines are fighting for their lives over that ‘Nobody is actually from Pembroke Pines’ line. Like relax… y’all are the founding families of Silver Lakes,” teased Kevin Antony under the post.
“Spot on except I was dragged here as a child 33 yrs ago. And my son is from here cuz he was born here 21 yrs ago,” wrote Roxanne Francois.
“As someone born and raised in Pines, this is hilarious,” added Kristyn Spatz.
